Control
by BellatrixLives
Summary: Despite having accepted Julian's serum and ridding herself of her frost powers, Caitlin is haunted by the fear of her evil alter-ego returning. With her fear consuming her life and threatening to overtake her completely, Harry steps in with an offer to help her... Give up her need of control in order to give up her fear. *SnowellsWeek2017 - Day 7 - Free Prompt*
1. Chapter One

Cold and darkness press against her, suffocatingly filling her with thoughts of despair. She can't see. Can't breath. She feels a layer of frost spreading from her fingertips up her arms, encasing her.

 _No…_

Caitlin sits up abruptly in her bed, gasping for air and clumsily searching for the switch to her lamp.

Yellow light illuminates her and Caitlin studies her hands. Eyes wide from fear and desperation she flips her hands back and forth, searching for any sign of frost.

She finds none, but it does little to alleviate her fear.

 _Are my hands just cold? Or are they too cold?_

Caitlin balls her shaking hands into fists, and tries to will herself to calm down.

It takes several minutes, but she eventually manages to stop shaking.

 _I can control this._

Looking at her alarm clock Caitlin realizes it's only four in the morning, but she knows she won't be able to fall back asleep.

Climbing out of bed with an exhausted groan she makes her way to the bathroom for the hottest shower she can manage.

By the time she's dressed herself and styled her hair, Caitlin has only managed to kill forty-five minutes.

 _Maybe I'm_ too _efficient._

Unable to stay in her dark, lonely, apartment any longer she decides to head to work. Even though nobody else will be there for a few hours STAR Labs feels less foreboding than her shadow-strewn apartment.

Thankfully, Jitters is open so Caitlin is able to get a steaming cup of caffeine on her way to the lab.

Sure enough, when she makes it to work nobody is there waiting for her.

With a small sigh she settles into her desk, deciding to start back up on calculations to get Barry out of the Speed Force.

Caitlin tries to focus on the screen in front of her, but everything blurs and she finds herself dwelling on her nightmare.

 _Nothing is going to happen. Killer Frost is gone, and she's not coming back. Julian's serum made sure of that._

Logically she knows her powers are gone, eradicated by the serum, her psycho alter ego along with it. That hasn't helped the nightmares, though, or the memories of hurting her friends.

Burying her face in her hands, Caitlin tries to banish her cloudy thoughts.

She's not sure how long she's there, elbows resting on the desk, supporting her head, before her self-condemnation is interrupted.

"You know, Snow, if you wanted to sleep, you could have stayed home."

Caitlin jumps and spins her chair around, surprised to see Harry standing behind her. She's even more surprised to see him shirtless, in pajama pants, and holding a gun.

"H-Harry," she stutters, trying not to gawk. "What are you doing up?"

" _Someone,_ " he accuses, blinking blearily at her, "tripped my alarm."

"What alarm?"

"The one I set to alert me whenever someone enters the building. We have a ridiculous amount of Metas just barge in here at all hours."

She winces.

"Sorry, I didn't realize," she apologizes. "It's just me though, so you can go back to sleep."

Harry looks down at his watch, squinting to focus on the screen.

"It's not even 5:30, Snow. What are you doing here?"

"I—I just wanted to get an early start. You know, work on getting Barry back."

He shakes his head.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Are you trying to insinuate that I don't want Barry back?"

"We all want him back," Harry scoffs. "That's not the reason you're here though."

Caitlin swallows nervously, worried he'll press her further.

He massages the bridge of his nose and sighs.

"Well, I'm up now," he says. "Guess I'll go shower."

Harry takes a step closer and Caitlin unconsciously braces herself.

He bends down, leaning in until they are face to face and her stomach flip-flops looking into his crystalline blue eyes.

Harry reaches past Caitlin, snagging her coffee from Jitters, before backing up to take a long sip.

"Hey," she chastises, her heart rate slowly returning to normal. "That's mine!"

"You woke me up," is all he says before retreating with his gun and her coffee.

With Harry off to shower, and knowing no one else will be in for a while, Caitlin decides to do a blood analysis.

She and Julian already tested her blood, right after she took the serum, and all signs of her being a metahuman were gone. They were also gone the other twelve times she checked her blood in the last week.

 _Time can change things, though,_ she thinks, _and it certainly loves reminding people of that._

In the infirmary, Caitlin secures a tourniquet around her arm, and prepares to draw her own blood.

The needle piercing her skin stings just slightly, but the discomfort centers her, focusing her attention on the task at hand.

Professionalism kicks in and she's able to distance herself from the problem, looking at her situation clinically.

 _The science of the serum was sound. There won't be anything abnormal in my blood._

 _But what if there is?_

Taking much more blood than necessary, considering she only needs a few drops, Caitlin pulls the needle from her arm and prepares a slide.

The computer is quick to analyze it, assuring her she is still okay and that the serum is working.

She chews her bottom lip worriedly.

 _Computers are fallible._

Caitlin slips the slide under her own microscope and begins manually searching for abnormalities.

When Caitlin doesn't find anything she lets herself feel a sliver of relief.

It is, however, short lived.

 _One sample isn't definitive proof. I should test at least three._

The second sample she takes is also all clear, but it still does little to calm her down.

As she is preparing to take a third sample, she's interrupted.

"Snow, there you are. So I was—" Harry stops, catching sight of the needle poised just above her arm. "What the hell are you doing?" he demands.

She freezes. She thought it would take him longer to shower and dress.

He marches over to her, taking the needle and tossing it on the counter.

Harry grabs her wrist as Caitlin tries to hide her arm, and pulls it closer for him to see.

The anger in his eyes as he studies the bruises and track marks on her arm makes her stomach twist uncomfortably.

He runs his index finger over the marks, sending a shiver down her spine, before releasing her.

"So what is it?" he asks coldly. "Heroin? Morphine? Something of your own design?"

"Wh—? I-I…" she can't get the words out, her tongue tripping her up.

"We all miss Barry, but ruining a brilliant mind by shooting toxins into your veins isn't going to help anyone."

Harry grabs her by the elbow and pulls her to her feet.

"Come on," he orders, "you need to dry out."

Caitlin plants her feet firmly, or as firm as she can in heels.

"Look, you can either detox in the pipeline, or go to rehab and have that on your record."

"I'm not on drugs!" she finally manages to exclaim, pulling out of his grasp.

Harry crosses his arms and arches an eyebrow cynically.

"You're not sleeping, you're sneaking around here when nobody is here, and I caught you injecting something into your bruised, junkie arm."

"I wasn't injecting anything!" she argues. "I was…"

Caitlin pauses.

In the roundabout 'Harrison Wells' way, he had called her brilliant. Now she has to tell him she's going crazy.

 _It's either crazy or junkie._

She opts for the former.

"I was taking a blood sample… _another_ blood sample. I've been compulsively taking samples and checking for abnormalities. For any sign Julian's serum isn't working and that _she_ is coming back."

Caitlin can see the anger leave him, and she is so thankful pity doesn't take its place. She can't stomach pity right now.

"Have your results given you any reason to think the serum isn't working?" he asks, slipping into doctor mode.

"No, they've all come back clear."

"Have you been exhibiting any signs of your frost powers?"

"Not exactly," she admits. "I keep dreaming I'm covered in a layer of ice, but when I wake up there's no sign of it."

Harry scratches his temple, staring at her as if she's a child.

"So you're mutilating yourself based strictly off of nightmares, and feelings?" he scoffs.

"I'm _not_ mutilating myself."

Harry takes her wrist again and holds up her arm.

"Snow, look at this. Do you not see what I see?"

Sighing she looks at her inner elbow. She's not sure how she didn't notice just how bad it looked.

The skin is swollen, bruised, and peppered with needle marks.

 _It's no wonder he thought I was a junkie._

Caitlin pulls away once more and turns around. The last thing she wants, after everything else, is for Harry to see her cry.

"I'm so scared she'll come back. That my powers will come back and I won't be able to stop her."

He's quiet for a long pause before answering.

"What you're truly afraid of is losing control," Harry tells her. "Everything in your life reflects your self-control."

Caitlin wipes away the stray tears before turning back around to face him.

"Your clothing, the food you eat, your career, your attitude," Harry lists, "all of it comes from your need to always be in control."

She gives him a dirty look.

"Are you trying to say that my fears of turning back into Killer Frost stem from my being a little anal retentive?"

"A little?" Harry laughs. "My dear, aside from your powers, you have probably never been in a situation you can't control, and you've certainly never entered into one willingly."

Caitlin crosses her arms, scowling at him.

"You don't know how to let go, and until you do you're going to drive yourself crazy worrying about whether or not that serum is going to continue working."

"I can too let go," she argues.

"I doubt that very much."

"I can!"

"Prove it," he says simply.

"I will," Caitlin replies stubbornly.

"I don't just mean act a little out of the ordinary," Harry clarifies, moving towards her once more, "adding whole milk instead of two percent to your coffee. I mean completely relinquish control."

"To what?"

"To me."

The glint in his eye sparks butterflies in her stomach, though she isn't sure why. His gaze is so serious she feels as if he can see right through her, as if he can feel her trepidation and even the slight tingle of excitement blossoming within her.

"What do I get out of this?" she asks.

"You mean aside from proving your point?" he asks. "Hmm, I suppose if you can make it two whole weeks without giving up, or completely disobeying me, I will make you a device to wear that will constantly monitor your blood."

She perks up.

"I wouldn't have to keep drawing blood for samples?"

Harry nods, smirking at her excitement.

"Okay," she drawls, "what do you get out of this?"

"I get to help a friend," he shrugs.

Caitlin pulls down her sleeve to hide her bruised arm and then stands up tall, straightening her back and holding her head high.

"I'm in," she agrees. "So what's first? Is there going to be like a list of tasks? Are you going to-?"

"Quiet," he interrupts.

He doesn't raise his voice at her, but there is a new quality to it that's not usually there; one that demands to be heard, and one that demands respect.

Caitlin closes her mouth and bites her tongue.

"Let's go over the rules," Harry begins, counting his list on fingers as he goes. "First, when we are alone together you will only speak when spoken to. Second, you will only address me as either 'Dr. Wells' or 'Sir'. Third, you will not hesitate to complete any order I give you. I reserve the right to terminate our arrangement and notify your friends of what you've been doing to yourself at any time depending on the severity of your rule breaking."

"So if I misspeak you'll just cancel everything and tattle on me?" she asks.

"You just broke all three rules," Harry sighs, looking quite displeased with her.

Caitlin opens her mouth to argue, but catches herself before she speaks and closes her mouth again, trying not to scowl.

"Very good," he compliments, and she tries not to feel pleased with herself. "And to answer your very rudely spoken question, I won't immediately end things, it just depends on how badly you break a rule what your punishment will be."

She opens her mouth again, but stops, biting her tongue.

"You may speak," he allows, trying to suppress a smile.

"Punishment?" she asks, trying not to laugh. "What are you going to do, spank me?"

"Keep forgetting the rules and we'll just have to see," Harry says, eyes scanning over her playfully.

Caitlin's mouth pops open into a tiny 'o' and she can feel her cheeks begin to color.

"You've-" she stops, cursing herself.

"Continue," he sighs, waving her on.

"You've done this before, haven't you?" she asks quietly. "You were pretty quick with those rules."

Harry studies her intently for several seconds before answering.

"Yes, I have. A few times. Though, the circumstances were quite different."

"It was... sexual?" she asks, staring at the ground, her cheeks flaming.

"It was," he replies truthfully. "This isn't."

She's not sure whether it's relief or regret that floods her.

 _Relief obviously_ , she tells herself. _I don't have those types of feelings about Harry. I mean sure, he's handsome. His eyes are gorgeous and he is in great shape for being so much older than me. And just because my stomach flips when he's close to me, that doesn't mean..._ she stops that train of thought, uncomfortable with the direction it was headed.

"Is that going to be a problem?" he asks. "The fact that I've done this before under very different circumstances?"

"No, Sir."

"Good girl," he smiles. "You're learning."

Caitlin smiles.

"First thing first," he tells her, "get this infirmary cleaned up."

 _Easy,_ she thinks.

"But," he continues, "when you put the equipment away, don't put it back in its original spot. Put everything away randomly."

She can't fight the pouty expression his words trigger, and Harry graces her with another smile.

 _What does good organizational skills have to do with control?_

"Whatever you say, Dr. Wells."

"When you're done, meet me in my room."

Caitlin's eyes go wide with surprise.

"Snow," he sighs, "I'm not going to take advantage of you, I promise."

"R-Right, sorry, Sir."

Harry gives her another once over before leaving her alone in the infirmary.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_ Caitlin thinks.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys! First I just wanted to say thanks for giving this story a chance, I really hope you'll enjoy as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I'm going to try to keep the characters as true to themselves as possible, but obviously when dealing with subject matter like this there may be some ooc moments (for example jumping into an arrangement like this so quickly lol) Either way, I really hope to hear what you think! This will probably end up being a longer fic, so hopefully you'll stick with me. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter Two

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Harrison thinks.

He gets back to his own room and collapses onto the bed.

When he saw the bruises and marks on her arm he had been positive she had started self-medicating as a way to handle all of the recent stresses. The anger that burned through him was blinding.

The truth of the matter wasn't much better, but he supposes paranoia is slightly better than addiction.

Harrison goaded her, hoping her anger and his ridiculous suggestion would make her see just how absurd she was being.

He hadn't truly believed that she would agree. He figured she would say no, then they would tell Cisco and Julian and _they_ would help her sort out her problem.

 _You hoped she'd say yes,_ a traitorous voice whispers in his head.

Perhaps it is true that he does find certain aspects about Caitlin Snow intriguing, but that doesn't mean he wants anything to happen.

 _Just because she's kind, beautiful, brilliant, and has large doe eyes you could fall into-_

 _Enough!_ he chastises his runaway mind. _Nothing will happen. I'm just... helping her learn to loosen her death grip on the need for control._

As he lies there he tries to think of orders he can give her to help pull her from her comfort zone.

Harrison comes up with quite a few, but tosses most of them away due to their inappropriate nature.

 _You're playing with fire, old man._

The more he thinks about the situation, the more he realizes it will be a test of control for both of them; for her, a test of relinquishing control, and for him a test of _keeping_ his control and not going off book. However tempting.

It's been a few years since he's had a Sub, and seeing Caitlin flush crimson, eyes downcast and calling him 'Sir', reminds him just how much he's missed it.

 _That's not what this is._

 _Besides, she'd never want that._

He turns his head to look at the empty Jitters cup on his bedside table, the plum lipstick on the rim mocking him.

 _Playing with fire._

As painful as it is, Caitlin follows Harry's instructions and cleans up, putting all of the lab equipment back on random shelves rather than carefully designated order that she normally keeps them.

 _Just what is so wrong with being organized?_ she grumbles inwardly. _It's just terrible being able to easily find what you're looking for rather than wasting time._

She shakes her head.

 _If you can't handle unorganized shelves, how are you going to manage whatever else he has in store?_

Caitlin finds herself wondering just what else _is_ in store for her. She can't believe Harry has done this sort of thing before.

Actually, thinking of his attitude and his need to take charge, she _can_ believe it.

She tries to picture him giving her _those_ types of orders, but can't summon anything other than the image of handcuffs.

Her experiences have always been fairly vanilla, the most daring thing having been the time she and Ronnie had sex in a supply closet in STAR Labs after hours.

 _What are you doing? That isn't what this is._

Feeling flustered and more than a bit overheated, Caitlin makes her way to Harry's room.

Raising her hand she knocks on his door hesitantly, her nerves getting the best of her.

"Come in."

With a deep breath, Caitlin steps into Harry's room. She hasn't been in here since they first set him up with a storage room as a makeshift bedroom.

It's come a long way.

Harry has added personal touches that make it feel like an actual home, rather than spare storage in a giant science facility.

The cot that was originally given to him has been replaced with a double bed, the cold stone floor is covered in a large, but plain, throw rug, and he's even added a small table and chairs.

He's sitting at the table, a book spread open in front of him, taking notes. When he glances over and sees the surprise on her face he just shrugs.

"You'd be amazed what you can find on Amazon."

"Apparently," she murmurs, unsure whether that was an invitation for her to speak.

Harry rests his pen on his notebook, and gives her his full attention.

"In the future," he begins, switching back to his commanding voice, "when you enter my room, you will stand to the left of the door with your back to the wall, and hands clasped behind you. You will not fidget, and you will not move or speak until acknowledged."

"Yes, Sir."

Eager to beat him at his own game, Caitlin immediately backs up and positions herself as directed.

Harry nods approvingly, and then turns his attention back to his book.

Caitlin stands still, watching him and trying not to frown as he proceeds to completely ignore her.

There are so many questions she wants to ask him.

What does he have planned for her? How many women has he done this with? What is he really getting out of this? Is it really just to help her?

She refuses to buckle and disobey by asking any of them right now, though.

She stands there... five... ten… fifteen minutes, all the while trying not to fidget or shift her weight.

 _Why did I wear these heels today?_

Most days are spent sitting in the cortex, had she known she was going to be standing in place for so long, she would have worn something a bit more comfortable.

"Is everything alright, Snow?" Harry asks her innocently, looking up and noticing her grimace.

"Yes, Dr. Wells."

He closes his book and stands up, crossing his arms as he stares her down.

"It was not one of the rules," he says slowly, approaching her, "so I will be lenient on the lapse, but in the future, Caitlin, I will not tolerate being lied to."

The volume of his voice doesn't change, but there's a new dangerous quality, one that reminds her strongly of Eobard-Wells.

"I'll ask once more," he continues, "is everything alright?"

"No, sir."

"What's wrong?"

"My feet are getting sore."

Harry looks down at her feet, and then to her surprise, he crouches in front of her, wrapping his fingers lightly around her ankle.

"What are these, three inch heels?" he asks.

"Y-yes," she stammers, hoping he doesn't notice the goosebumps he's causing.

"Tomorrow you'll wear four inches."

Caitlin looks down at him in confusion, but doesn't say anything.

"No more lying, understand?"

"I understand."

He arches an eyebrow, waiting expectantly.

"I understand, _sir_."

He runs his thumb over the top of her foot, almost petting her, before standing back up.

Caitlin suppresses a shiver.

"The others will be filing in before too long," Harry tells her, backing away. "You should head back to the Cortex unless you want them asking questions."

Thoughts of the others jump to the front of her mind and she starts to worry they'll notice something is going on.

 _What would Cisco and Julian think of this arrangement?_

"Don't worry about the others," Harry tells her, as if reading her mind. "They don't have to know a thing. I won't give you orders you can't complete without drawing too much attention. Just behave normally."

"Yes, sir."

"Run along, Miss Snow," Harry smirks, dismissing her.

When Caitlin settles back into her work station in the Cortex she jumps right into her calculations to get Barry out of the Speed Force. All previous thoughts of her possibly brewing frost powers are gone, pushed aside behind her concern for Barry, and her desperate attempt to act as if nothing is amiss.

By the time Cisco arrives, Caitlin has actually managed to make some progress, both in her attempt to help Barry, and her attempt to put aside all conflicting emotions towards her arrangement with Harry.

"How are you always here so early?" Cisco groans, collapsing into his seat beside her.

"Cisco, it's 9:30. Most people tend to arrive to work before 9."

"Most people don't have hoppin' night lives then."

"If you call sitting at a bar and staring longingly at all the attractive women around you a _hopping night life,_ " Caitlin laughs.

"First," Cisco starts indignantly, "it is hoppin' _not_ hopping, and second I don't stare longingly."

She shoots him a _yeah right_ look.

"Well, I don't _just_ stare," he amends. "I talk to them. Sometimes. They don't always talk back, but I talk."

"What about Gypsy?"

"What about her? She's the one who doesn't want to talk about this... this thing between us. Why should I sit around waiting for someone from another world to decide whether or not she wants to try?"

Cisco twists his chair to face Caitlin.

"What about you and Julian?" he asks, voice still a tad defensive. "All of the sudden you two are acting like there's nothing going on between you."

Just as Caitlin is about to answer, Harry walks in.

"Ramon, Snow," he greets gruffly, before moving on to his board on the other side of the room.

"Harry," Cisco replies, before returning his attention to Caitlin. "So? You and Julian?"

Caitlin swallows thickly, glancing over towards Harry's back, wondering why she feels so concerned with his reaction.

 _Our arrangement isn't about relationships._

"There is no Julian and I," she says. "I told him I needed to sort things out.

"Oh... sorry, Caitlin," Cisco apologizes. "I didn't know, or I wouldn't have brought it up."

"Really, I'm fine. I'm enjoying my newfound... freedom."

Glancing over at Harry again, she sees him turned sideways, and she can just make out the smirk on his face.

Feeling pleased with herself she returns to her work.

Wally is the next to arrive, speeding in and clapping his hands, eager to get started. He's really thrown himself into saving people since Barry was taken.

"Alright, guys, what have we got!" He asks enthusiastically.

As if on cue the monitors start beeping.

"Looks like there's a robbery on the corner of 12th and Glen," Cisco informs everyone.

Wally grabs his suit and is gone in an instant.

It doesn't take long for him to subdue the robber, being as it was just some guy with a gun, not a Meta or someone with crazy tech.

"That was boring," Wally sighs, buzzing back into the Cortex. "What's next?"

"Sorry to burst your bubble," Caitlin tells him, "but it looks quiet right now."

Wally looks around the room uncomfortably, his gaze stopping on Barry's suit.

"I'll, uh, be in the speed lab if you need me."

Caitlin is debating going after him to see how he's doing, but she doesn't get the chance.

"Snow, come here."

Harry's voice freezes her in place; she almost forgot he was in here with how quiet he'd been all morning.

She quickly leaves her chair and walks over to stand beside Harry.

"Is it just me, or does Wally seem a bit distracted?" he asks.

"I think that's the idea. He wants to be distracted."

"Then maybe we should give him one. I want you to invite everyone out drinking tonight."

"It's Tuesday."

" _Snow._ "

"Oh… I mean of course, Dr. Wells."

She hesitates.

"Yes?"

"It's just," she starts, "I was wondering why you don't just invite everyone out? It's actually a very sweet thought."

"I wouldn't want to ruin my image of being a complete dick, now would I?"

She can't fight the laugh that bubbles up, and Harry shoots her a playful smile.

"Anything else, Dr. Wells?"

"Actually, yes. You're always so formal, Snow. Tonight I'd like you to wear jeans."

With that, Harry turns on heel and leaves her to wonder how she can propose a night of drinking to all her friends on a weeknight.


	3. Chapter Three

As it turns out, it's _not_ very hard to convince her friends to go drinking on a weeknight.

Around lunchtime, Iris, Joe, and a grumpy looking Julian all stop by with take-out for everyone.

"It's been a while since we've all been together," Iris explains, her voice sad. "I thought lunch would be nice."

"Free food, good company, what's not to like?" Cisco asks, stealing an entire box of pizza.

"Hey, man," Wally chimes in, using his super speed to take the box from Cisco, "Speedsters first. You know how our metabolisms work.

"I think you mean _lady_ speedsters first," Jesse zooms in and hijacks the box.

Everyone laughs, and begins passing around plates, and napkins. Despite the jovial attitude everyone is trying so hard to put on, there is a tension in the air, each one of them waiting for another to call them out for having fun while Barry isn't here.

Caitlin surveys the room, watching all of her friends, and catches sight of Harry standing at the opposite side of the room, by himself, looking at her pointedly.

She sets down her plate and wipes her hands off before calling everyone's attention.

"Is everyone free tonight?" Caitlin asks, and everyone turns to look at her.

There's a chorus of yeses, a slight shoulder shrug from Julian, and silence from Harry.

"I-I was just thinking we're having so much fun, and it has been a long time since we've all been together, maybe we could all go out tonight?"

"Like _out_ out?" Cisco asks. "To a bar?"

"Why not?"

Cisco throws his arms around Caitlin in a bear hug.

"Oh," she gasps, surprised.

"You've never had a better idea," Cisco smiles.

"Agree to disagree," Caitlin grumbles.

In the end, everyone but Joe and Harry agrees.

"Sorry, I told Cecile we'd have a movie night."

"Harry?" Caitlin asks.

"Not really my scene," he says.

 _It was his idea... does he really not want to come?_

"Come on, Harry," Caitlin pleads. "Let loose a little."

Harry stares at her, expression blank, except for the twinkle she sees in his eye.

"Alright, fine," he sighs.

"Did you _have_ to convince him?" Cisco asks, leaning in to mock whisper in Caitlin's ear.

She slaps his arm.

"Be nice."

When lunch is over Iris, Julian, and Joe all head back to work, Jesse and Wally take off to race each other, and Cisco, Harry, and Caitlin get back to trying to help Barry.

If she's honest, Caitlin is actually looking forward to a night out.

 _It's just because I get to spend time with friends, not because I wonder what Harry has in store for me._

Getting ready is more of a hassle than she thought it'd be.

Caitlin digs through her closet for ten minutes searching for a pair of jeans. She rarely wears denim, always opting for a dress, skirt, or slacks, but she does have a pair she purchased a few years ago for the time she and Ronnie went camping.

They're a little more snug than she remembers them being, and she supposes she put on a couple pounds since the last time she wore them, but they do hug her figure rather nicely.

She picks through all of her blouses, but they all feel too formal to go with her jeans, so she chooses a flowy tank top she normally uses for layering.

Her feet thank her when she ditches the heels and puts on a pair of flats.

 _He said four inch heels tomorrow, he just said jeans tonight._

Cisco chose the bar, some place he said no one would look at them too closely, something important since Harry is actually tagging along.

Caitlin grabs an Uber and groans when they pull up out front of the address Cisco gave her. It's the little karaoke dive bar she and Barry went to two years ago. She doesn't remember much about it other than the fact that she felt like crap for two days afterwards, and couldn't bring herself to take a sip of alcohol for months.

She walks into the bar, already feeling nervous, only to find that she's the last one there. Everyone else is sitting at a large table near the stage.

"Caitlin!" Cisco, Wally, and Jesse all cheer her name when she walks in, and she blushes at all the attention it draws her.

"I didn't recognize you," Cisco insists. "I didn't even know you _owned_ jeans."

"Oh shut up," she chastises playfully, before greeting everyone.

"Really, though," Iris says, "I don't think I've ever seen you dressed casually. It's a good look on you."

There's only one seat left at the table and her stomach twists as she sees it is between Julian and Harry.

 _I could definitely use a drink..._

As if on cue, Cisco orders a round of shots.

Their server places one in front of everyone, and Iris is the first to raise her glass.

"To Barry," she says. "He'd be happy to see us out together, having fun... living our lives. Let's make some good stories to tell him when he gets back."

"Hear, hear!"

More drinks are ordered, and the group breaks off into several conversations. Iris and Cisco are talking about the possibility for a news story on some groundbreaking tech, Jesse and Wally are whispering flirtatiously while Harry glowers at them, leaving just Julian and Caitlin to make awkward small talk.

"How have you been?" Julian asks.

"Um, great, yeah. You?"

"Good, good. Yeah, I've been great too."

Caitlin takes a large gulp of her sex on the beach.

"I haven't heard from you lately," Julian points out. "I thought you would have called to talk by now."

"Sorry, I've just been busy. I haven't really had time to think things over," she tells him, noticing the eyes beginning to wander in their direction.

"I just don't understand. It seems like now, more than ever, we should be facing this together. I don't get what you have to figure out."

"Do you really think this is the time and place for this talk?" she asks, annoyed.

Julian looks around and sees everyone watching them.

"Sorry. I don't know why I came. I'm going to go."

Julian gets up and storms off.

Caitlin sighs, and begins to get up, intending to follow him, but Harry places a hand on her arm.

"Let him go," he says.

"He'll come around," Iris adds. "Why don't we have another round of shots, yeah?"

Iris signals the server who brings them all another shot. Caitlin is about to refuse hers, but Harry nudges her.

"Go on," he instructs, "drink it. Let loose a little."

"You're one to talk," Cisco laughs, pushing Harry's shot closer to him.

Harry picks up his glass and holds it out towards Caitlin. Obediently, she grabs hers, clinks Harry's glass, and downs the burning liquid in one gulp.

"That a girl," Harry says, and everyone at the table laughs.

Caitlin's cheeks flush, but she's pleased with the praise.

Everyone else goes back to their own conversations and Harry leans over so only Caitlin can hear him.

"Nice jeans," Harry tells her, a smile playing around his lips.

"I hope so," she replies, "I only have one pair."

Harry laughs.

"Hey! You are not allowed to make fun of me, Mr. I-Only-Own-Black."

"Touché."

After a table wide debate on whether or not Cisco is really the Meta naming champion (which is a fifty-fifty draw), and two more rounds of drinks, the bar is getting surprisingly crowded for a Tuesday.

Iris is watching the couples on the dance floor longingly, and Cisco is the first to notice.

"Come on, Miss West. I do believe this song is calling our name," Cisco offers Iris his hand. "Just FYI if there's a hot chick eyeing me up out there, make yourself scarce."

Iris laughs and takes Cisco's hand, letting him pull her over to the crowded floor.

"So, what do you say?" Wally asks Jesse, nodding towards the floor.

Jesse looks over at Caitlin and Harry.

"Oh, go on," Caitlin encourages.

Wally and Jesse both get up and head towards the other dancing couples, but Jesse pauses by Harry's chair, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be such a buzz kill, Dad. Ask Caitlin to dance!"

Caitlin laughs and is about to wave Jesse's foolish suggestion away, but Harry shrugs his shoulder and offers Caitlin his hand.

Jesse smacks him on the shoulder appreciatively and disappears with Wally.

"You don't have to," Caitlin says, slipping her hand into his.

"Come on," is all he says, pulling her from her chair.

It's a fast number, and Caitlin hesitates as they join the crowd, feeling very self-conscious. There are dozens of people around them, but everyone is so wrapped up in their own world, they might as well be alone on the floor.

"What are you waiting for, Snow?" Harry asks, shocking her with a series of complicated moves.

Caitlin starts swing her hips in time to the music, laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just… I never pictured Harrison Wells as a dancer."

"Are you doubting my skills?" he asks.

"No, sir," she replies automatically, laughter still in her voice.

"I'll just have to show you then."

Harry grabs Caitlin's hand and pulls her into a fast paced spin, arcing them across the dance floor. He stops and dips her low, bringing her back up slow and steady.

"I'll never doubt your skills again!" She swears, giggling.

The music shifts into something slower, and the pair hesitate, waiting for the other to say something, or move away. Neither do.

Harry steps in closer, and Caitlin places her hands on his shoulders. His hands come up to rest on her hips, and she can feel the warmth of his palms burning through her clothing.

They sway together, Caitlin buzzing happily with the alcohol, no other thoughts in her head but how close they are.

"Are you having fun?" Harry asks.

"Yes, sir," she says, smiling playfully.

"You only have to do that when we're alone."

"Aren't we?"

Harry looks around them, seeing all of the self-absorbed couples on the floor.

"I suppose we practically are."

Caitlin loses track of how many songs they dance together, switching from clinging to one another during the slow ones, to dancing around each other in the fast ones. At one point, _and she's going to blame it on the alcohol_ , Caitlin even faced away from Harry and shook her ass at him, grinding her hips against him.

The only response she got was a darkening of his eyes and the tightening of his jaw, but for him that was major.

When they finally return to the table they find everyone else there waiting for them.

"Damn, Harry!" Cisco cheers. "You were tearing it up out there!"

He reaches out for a high-five, but after it's clear Harry is not going to participate, Cisco drops his hand.

Caitlin blushes, realizing everyone had been watching them. They weren't so alone after all.

"That was pretty impressive, you two," Iris says appreciatively.

"It was," Jesse adds, "but I definitely could have gone without seeing some of those moves."

Caitlin blushes even brighter, suddenly wishing the floor would swallow her whole.

"Ew, Jesse," Cisco groans, "it was dancing. Please don't put those thoughts in my head."

"You're one to talk," Harry tells Jesse, "like I needed to see you and Kid Flash over there doing what you were doing. _And_ I have to know you're going home together tonight."

Harry pales a little, and Cisco buries his face in his hands trying to hide his outburst of laughter.

"I need another drink," Harry sighs, heading for the bar.

With everyone laughing at Harry, attention is drawn away from Caitlin and she feels herself relax.

"This was a great idea, Caitlin," Iris tells her, reaching across the table to pat her hand.

"It was," Wally agrees, "I really needed this."

"We all did," Caitlin answers.

She waits for Cisco to chime in with some witty remark, but he's too busy making eyes at some blonde near the bar.

"If you'll excuse me," he says, slipping out of his seat, "the future Mrs. Ramon is waiting."

"Well, I should probably get going," Iris tells them. "Early day tomorrow."

She tells everyone goodbye, pausing to give Wally a hug and waving at Harry as she passes him on her way out.

Harry sits back down beside Caitlin, setting another drink in front of her.

"I really shouldn't," she protests.

"Drink it," Harry tells her.

Caitlin meets his eyes as he challenges her, and slowly reaches out for the glass.

"Ever heard of peer pressure, dad?" Jesse laughs.

He just waves her away, watching as Caitlin sips her drink.

"We're going to take off too," Jesse tells them. "Will you be okay without us?"

"We'll be fine," Harry replies. "Have a good night... well, not _too_ good."

He grimaces and takes a swig of his beer.

Wally mumbles something uncomfortably under his breath, and the pair say their farewells, leaving Caitlin and Harry alone.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Caitlin tells him.

"It was a good idea," Harry agrees.

"It was _your_ idea."

"That's why it was a good one."

Caitlin laughs, shaking her head at him. She'd never admit it, but sometimes she enjoys his pompousness.

"So, Dr. Wells," she says, trying not to sound _too_ buzzed, "any other instructions for me tonight?"

With the alcohol making her feel bolder, she even flutters her lashes at him, giving him a once over.

"Caitlin..." Harry's voice is lower than she's ever heard it, his husky tone sending shivers down her spine.

Cisco swoops back in, patting both of them on the shoulder.

"Just an FYI," he tells them happily, "I will probably be late to work tomorrow."

He nods over his shoulder, and Caitlin looks back to see the blonde woman waiting by the door, smiling at Cisco.

"You two behave now," Cisco says, winking, "because I certainly won't!"

He leaves them once more, but whatever spell was there before is gone now.

"When you get home drink at least two classes of water, take a tylenol, and go to bed. Try not to be in too early tomorrow, Snow. Even I need my beauty rest."

"Of course, Dr. Wells," she agrees.

Harry escorts Caitlin out of the bar, staying with her until her Uber arrives for her.

"When you get in tomorrow, meet me in my room," Harry instructs as he closes the car door behind her.

Caitlin's stomach is still bubbling with anticipation when she crawls into bed after her two glasses of water and tylenol.

She can't wait for tomorrow.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys! I just wanted to say that while I am mostly just writing this for myself, I do know that some of you are reading it. Reviews or feedback would be much appreciated, thank you! 3


	4. Chapter Four

She's not sure whether it's the alcohol or the fact that for the first time in weeks she doesn't fall asleep thinking about Killer Frost, but Caitlin actually manages to sleep until her alarm goes off the following morning.

Throwing back the covers, she finds herself feeling particularly refreshed, and surprisingly not hung-over. A fact she thanks Harry's instructions for.

 _Harry…_

The nightmares of Killer Frost may not have bothered her in her sleep, but she starts to remember bits and pieces of the dreams she _did_ have… dreams about a certain grouchy, pompous genius.

 _Dreams you should_ NOT _be having,_ she tries to chastise herself. _Whatever this thing is that is going on, it's not like that at all._

She remembers the moment between them at the bar, right before Cisco interrupted.

 _Stop. That doesn't count as anything. We were both drinking, and dancing, and it wasn't anything real. It was just a fabrication of fondness created by the moment and circumstances._

Caitlin tries not to remember that way Harry's eyes glimmered when he said her name.

She showers quickly, still wanting to be the first to arrive at STAR Labs. Today she wears a plain but flattering A-line black dress, and the tallest pair of heels she owns.

 _These ought to make him happy,_ she thinks excitedly.

Despite her eagerness to get to work Caitlin still takes time to stop by Jitters, this time ordering Harry a drink as well.

She's positively buzzing with eagerness by the time she walks in the doors to the lab.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Caitlin heads directly for Harry's room as instructed.

Balancing the drink carrier in one hand she knocks on the door.

"Come in."

She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves and enters the room.

Caitlin places the drinks on the bedside table and then retreats to her position against the wall, hands clasped behind her as instructed.

Harry is on the other side of the room, pulling on a sweatshirt. He glances over his shoulder at her when she enters, watching as she places the offering of coffee by the bed.

After running a comb through his always-messy hair, he walks over and grabs one of the drinks from the table.

"Thank you," he tells her sincerely, taking a sip.

"You're welcome, Dr. Wells."

Knowing just how much it pains Caitlin to remain still, quiet, and patient, Harry takes a seat at his table and picks up his tablet. He starts reading the morning news, using all of his power to resist looking over to see how she's fairing.

He makes it through two articles before deciding it's been long enough.

Grabbing the ruler he made sure was sitting out, Harry approaches Caitlin slowly. Her eyes widen as they lock onto the ruler, a brief glimmer of shock on her features. Just as quickly he sees her shake her head imperceptively in a manner he's come to associate with her self-chastisement.

 _What—? Oh,_ he thinks, thinking back to their banter on punishments. _Did she think I was going to spank her with a ruler?_

"Let's measure those heels, shall we?" he clarifies.

Caitlin nods, and sighs in what Harry swears in disappointment.

 _Snow, you're going to be the death of me._

Harry crouches in front of her and places the ruler up to her heel.

"Snow? What did I tell you to wear today?" he asks, standing back up.

"You said four-inch heels, Dr. Wells," she responds.

"Then why are you wearing five-and-a-half-inch heels?"

"I—I just put on my tallest ones," she says, confused at his disapproving tone. "I knew they were more than four-inches. I thought you would like that, sir."

Harry crosses his arms.

"If I wanted you to wear something else, I would have instructed you to do so. You did not do as I asked."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Wells," Caitlin tells him, sounding extremely disappointed.

"I'm afraid I'll have to punish you," he says, keeping his voice firm.

Her back stiffens as she waits for him to continue.

"I'm sending you home."

"I… don't understand."

"Today, Snow, you are going to take the day off."

He watches her and can see the wheels spinning in her brilliant mind.

"It's Wednesday," she states.

"It is."

"We have so much work to do."

"We do."

"I can't just take a day off."

"And yet you will," he tells her turning away.

"Harry—"

" _Excuse me?"_ he questions, flipping back around to face her.

Caitlin opens and closes her mouth several times before deciding on the words to speak.

"Dr. Wells, sir… it's just that we need everyone working on helping Barry. I just don't feel like I can justify taking a day off."

"Are you disobeying me twice in one day? Because you could stay if you want… if you want to tell everyone about your recent compulsion."

Caitlin bites her lip, debating internally.

 _Having to deal with the fallout and everyone's concern if they learned the truth would be a huge distraction to getting Barry home. If I just take the day off, it only affects me, and only today,_ she justifies.

"No, sir," she answers finally, unable to meet his eyes. "I'll take the day off."

"That's what I thought. I don't care what you tell the others about your absence, but if you leave before anyone gets here, you could use last night as an excuse."

She thinks a hangover will be her best chance at an excuse.

"May I go, Dr. Wells?"

Caitlin figures she can at least grab some of her work from the Cortex and work on it at home.

"Yes, Snow, you may go. One thing, when I say 'day off' I mean it. No working from home," Harry insists, as if reading her mind.

Her mouth tightens into a firm, disapproving line.

"Go shopping," he suggests, "go get a massage, go to the movies. Just treat yourself, Snow."

"That doesn't sound like much of a punishment."

"For most, maybe. For you? The idea of pampering yourself when someone needs your help is definitely punishment."

Caitlin keeps her mouth pointedly shut, refusing to confirm how right he is.

 _How does he know me so well?_

She grabs her coffee from the table ready to be gone and away from this infuriating man.

"And, Snow?" he says stopping her. "I expect receipts, or pictures, or _something_ to prove you actually went out and didn't work today."

"Yes, sir," she all but growls before marching out of his room.

Caitlin swears she can hear him laughing as the door closes.

Even though she is mad at Harry for sending her home, she's mad at herself for not thinking through his order about the shoes.

She should have known he wanted her to be precise.

 _That's what this entire thing is about… giving up control and doing what I'm told._

The first thing she does is go home and find a pair of heels that are exactly four inches tall. She puts them on and takes a picture of a ruler next to them to send to Harry.

 _Good girl,_ he texts back.

Caitlin tries hard not to acknowledge how much pride those two little words fill her with.

It's still early, but she refuses to sit around home and give Harry any reason to punish her again.

 _I will not miss any more days of work._

She heads back out of her apartment and down to a local café, where she treats herself to an omelet and toast while reading the newspaper.

 _This is actually pretty peaceful,_ she thinks.

She sends Harry another picture, this time of her breakfast.

 _You wanted proof, be prepared to be bombarded by proof all day._

After breakfast Caitlin sends Cisco a message telling him she's not going to be in today. He doesn't reply, but she doesn't expect him to be awake for another hour at least.

 _What else did he say? Shopping, massage, or movies?_

She heads to the mall, wondering just how much she wants to get back at Harry.

His phone dings again, and Harry smiles, shaking his head.

 _So passive aggressive, Snow,_ he thinks.

She's been sending him updates all morning; pictures documenting every step of her day, with the pretense of letting him know she's following his instructions.

Harry knows she's just trying to bury him in messages to keep interrupting him, or distract him from his own work.

 _It's kind of adorable,_ he thinks. _Her little rebellion._

Caitlin's been at the mall for the last two hours, sending him pictures of shoes, purses, dresses, and even a selfie of her eating a giant pretzel.

He picks up his phone to see the latest picture and finds his curiosity piqued. She's sent him a picture of a boutique specializing in lingerie.

Five minutes later he receives another alert, this time of a rack of lacy nightgowns.

 _You won't win this one, Snow._

He knows she's trying to get a rise out of him.

 _Yellow isn't your color,_ he texts her back.

Two minutes later and _—ding—_ another picture arrives.

A sheer navy blue number, and a silky black one hang side by side. There's no text attached, just the image.

 _The navy one,_ he replies.

Another five minutes pass and his phone chimes again. Harry is almost nervous to look at it.

 _Surely she wouldn't…_ he thinks, hand hesitating above the phone.

"Of course not," he says aloud. "She's just trying to see how far she can push back."

He scoops up his phone and opens the newest message, his jaw dropping at what he finds.

 _Caitlin Snow wearing a practically see through, navy blue, baby doll._

She took the picture in the dressing room mirror, angled so he can see the open back and how the material stops just below the curve of her butt.

It takes him several moments to close his mouth and try to form a coherent thought.

At first Harry wants to call her out on her game, to point out he knows what she's trying to do. After thinking it through, however, he decides to use this as a teaching moment and regain control over their _arrangement._

 _Not bad,_ he replies, _but I've always been a fan of stockings._

Caitlin can't believe she sent it!

She didn't actually mean to! Granted she did take it and think about sending the picture to Harry, wanting to see just how far she could push him before he would call her back into work.

Caitlin chickened out though, and when she had tried to delete the message, she accidentally hit send.

 _Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod!_

 _You just sexted Harrison Wells!_

She buries her head in her hands, wondering if he's already sent messages out to her friends informing them of her obsessive blood drawing.

 _He's going to cancel our arrangement, and everyone will know how crazy I'm becoming._

Harry had made it abundantly clear that their arrangement wasn't one of _those types_ of arrangements.

 _And yet…_ part of her is excited to see his response. She'd never considered Harry as more than a friend or colleague, not in any _real_ capacity. She always pictured him as a purely scientific being, not a sexual one.

Yeah, sure, he has a daughter and used to be married, but Caitlin never thought about the mechanics.

Now that she has seen this new side of him, though, she wants to see more, and she can't help but wonder how she never really considered just how gorgeous Harry truly is.

When her phone finally beeps signaling his response she's almost too afraid to look; her hands trembling as she opens his newest message.

 _Not bad, but I've always been a fan of stockings._

Her eyes widen in shock.

 _What's_ he _playing at?_ She wonders. _It wasn't an order, just a comment. What is he expecting?_

Caitlin wonders if he's challenging her, teasing her, or just generally giving his opinion?

A small mischievous smirk forms as she decides to throw caution to the wind.

 _I can't let loose, huh, Harry?_ She thinks as she calls the store attendant back to her fitting room.

After about ten minutes of waiting, Harry is just about to declare victory over Caitlin's little game when his phone goes off.

He does a double take when he opens her message.

 _Caitlin in thigh high stockings held in place with a lace garter belt, and wearing a matching black bustier._

If that isn't enough to make him about fall over, she's biting her lower lip nervously and glancing up at him through a curtain of hair.

 _I want…_

 _No._

 _I need to stop this now, before we both end up doing something we regret._

Taking a deep breath, as if that will help his racing heart, Harry starts to type out his response.

"Good morning!"

Jumping by the sudden intrusion, Harry almost drops his phone, and quickly hides it away as he turns around to greet Cisco.

"You're awfully chipper today," he tells him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Cisco asks. "It is a _beautiful_ day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I feel fantastic."

"I take it you and the 'future Mrs. Ramon' had a good time last night?"

"And this morning."

Harry shakes his head.

"Don't shake your head at me, old man. Maybe you'd be less dickish if you went out and got laid," Cisco suggests. "You know what, never mind. Scratch that. Not an image I want in my head."

Cisco takes a seat behind his computer and stretches his arms out behind him.

"What's first on the agenda? I got a message from Caitlin saying she wasn't feeling well today. How much did you get her to drink?"

Caitlin is sitting in the dressing room clutching her phone, waiting for Harry's response.

 _-ding-_

 _Snow…_ it says.

She waits, but no other messages come through.

After about ten minutes the store attendant is knocking on her stall asking if she needs help with anything.

Caitlin, feeling oddly hurt, strips out of the lingerie and passes it out to the woman, asking her to wrap it up for her.

Even after she's dressed in her normal clothing, paid for her purchase, and left the store she still doesn't receive any further response.

Even though she wants nothing more than to collapse at home, Caitlin refrains and decides to go get that massage after all.

She finds it hard to relax during, however, her thoughts troubled by Harry's lack of response.

 _Snow…_ she thinks. _Was it a warning? A reprimand? A breathy utterance?_

 _What were you thinking?_ She asks herself. _Why did you ever take that picture in the first place?_

After her massage she goes out for a bite to eat, but finds herself pushing her food around on her plate with little actual appetite.

From there she decides to finish out Harry's list and go to the movies. There will be no way he can fault her forced day off and he'll have to let her work tomorrow.

Not in the mood for a romcom, she decides on some thriller that's playing, only realizing too late what a poor choice it is.

The villain is a Meta who has ice powers and goes on a savage spree, freezing everyone who gets in his way.

Caitlin leaves after the first half hour, feeling like the little food she ate is going to come back up.

She goes home deciding she's 'pampered' herself enough for one day.

Dropping her purse and her purchases from the day inside the front door, Caitlin goes straight to her bed, kicking off her shoes before collapsing on top of her covers.

Pulling her pillow over her head she tries not to remember all of the screaming people in the movie.

After Cisco, Wally, and Jesse leave for the night, and he finally has a moment to himself, Harry pulls his phone back out.

 _Snow…_ was the only message he'd been able to get out to her, and she hadn't responded since.

He's not even sure what he was going to say, but he's positive he has hurt her feelings somehow.

 _You crossed a line,_ he tells himself. _You should have let her send her pictures and play her game. You should never have started responding._

Harry returns to his room and pours himself a stiff drink.

 _How do I get this back on track?_

He scoffs.

 _This thing was off track from the moment you proposed it._

The alarm starts buzzing, letting him know someone has entered the building.

"Shit," he curses.

He doesn't take his gun, wondering if it's just Cisco or Wally coming back because they forgot something.

Harry doesn't find anyone in the Cortex, but when he surfs through the security feed he finds his intruder.

"Damn it, Snow."

Caitlin is in the infirmary again, prepping herself for a blood sample.

He takes off sprinting to get to her before she goes through with it.

"Snow!" he yells, bursting through the door, a little out of breath. "What are you doing?"

"I have to be sure she's gone!"

Her arm has a tourniquet tightened around it and she's just about to insert the empty syringe.

"Why don't you put it down, and we can talk?" Harry asks.

"Talking won't help this," she insists, tears streaming down her face.

Harry tries another approach, taking another step forward.

"Look at me," he orders, switching to his commanding tone.

Slowly, she turns to look at him, needle still poised above her skin.

"Put the needle down, Caitlin. _That is not a request._ "

Her chocolate eyes meet his blue ones and he can see her wavering, logic warring with compulsion.

" _Now_ , Caitlin," he reiterates, voice cold and calm.

With trembling fingers, Caitlin releases the syringe and lets it fall to the floor.

She buries her face in her hands, unable to control her sobs, and Harry is across the room in three steps pulling her into his arms.

"Shh," he coos, curling her closer against him. "It's going to be okay. I've got you."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, this took a turn for the angst... Thank you to everyone commenting, following, or favoriting! It's nice to know I'm not writing this just for myself after all :)


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